Fool's Gold
There are some songs that start with lyrics or phrases and others that start by melody. This was one of the songs that kind of started with both.
I knew I wanted to write a song titled “Fool’s Gold” but I didn’t know what I wanted it to be about or how I wanted it to sound. I also knew I wanted to write a song in DADGAD (which is just a different tuning for the guitar). So I sat down with both those ideas in mind and the song almost wrote itself.
Rarely do I have a song where I’m almost immediately happy with everything, this was one of the easiest songs I’ve written. As if it needed to exist.
“Fool’s Gold” is a song about trying to convince yourself that everything is fine even though you know something’s missing in life. It’s the saying ignorance is bliss; once you know something, you can’t “unknow” it.
I was fine on my own til you walked by opened my eyes
Now I’m living a lie
Made me believe in myself who I am now would have no more fears
But you, you pulled the world out from under me
I know this is foolish but I’m asking you to stay
Don’t walk away and leave me with fool’s gold
Maybe you had no idea when you walked my way I would need you to stay
Why won’t you stay
Drowning in my disbelief how could you be real when all you are is a ghost to me
Forever on my mind
I know what I’m asking can never make sense
Won’t you stay with me and be my fool’s gold
If only I was on your mind
Every day all of the time
When you opened your eyes could you see mine in your view
Or am I just a fool too
There’s no denying ain’t no use in lying
I’d be over you if it wasn’t for this fool’s gold
I know this is foolish but I’m asking you to stay
Don’t walk away and leave me with fool’s gold
Won’t you stay with me and be my fool’s gold
Missing Piece
Most of this album is centered around one specific person and one very complicated relationship.
This was the song that started everything for me. It was me finally admitting to myself that even though I wanted this person, because of other circumstances I knew I could never have them.
I feel like this song relates to so many people. And while the meaning is simple, the weight behind the words is tremendous.
Always thought you would be the end
My one desire my sin
The breath that I would never let in
Escaped my lips today
Stars will never be on our side
A Romeo from the wrong time
Who am I to say it could work
Against the odds let’s see
Hide my eyes
Who can see behind these vicious lies
Won’t you tell my heart to lie
One more dream won’t kill me yet
And you’ll be mine tonight
My heart won’t let me be at peace
Mind goes numb eyes are dry
No one knows the reason why
I can’t escape this dream
The missing piece a part of me
You’re everything I thought I’d need
The melody when I sleep
A memory
Broken Wing
Believe it or not this was a doodle song for me. I was working front desk at Rockstars of Tomorrow one evening while there was a party going on, and I had a lot of downtime. I picked up one of the guitars meaning to learn “Look On Up” by Relient K, but instead some people walked in and sat down. So I just noodled around with a couple chords and a simple rhythm for a while. Then eventually some images started to pop up in my mind and then a story began to form.
This was one of the songs that basically wrote itself; I had no idea what the concept of the song even was until the song was written.
Over the mountaintops through fields of gold
The lonely nights have stayed to drive me home
What a waste I couldn’t see a different part of me
What a fool you never knew what you couldn’t see
Now the hardest part is through and you’ll leave
And I never knew the missing part of me
And you will never see the tears I never show
Every days a struggle when you lose yourself
Every days a laughing stock when you’re against a wall
I can only hold on to hope for so long
Before I begin to fall
Through a cloud of dreams you make your way past me
Misty eyes believe in childhood fantasies
Wish me not a broken wing don’t call me naive
So my love I’ll take the blame for what you couldn’t be
What’s done is done just leave
Though my tears may trace the hollows of my eyes
You can’t deceive me with your lies
Mirror mirror on the wall
Does it hurt to fall
A Million Moments
I have never been one to write love songs, ever. It’s never been who I am. But when inspiration strikes, I never back away. And life was good, very good, at this particular moment.
“A Million Moments” was my first, and so far only, love song. Part of me believes songs exist, and they’re just waiting to be penned by someone. This was such a far step out of my comfort zone and it turned out exactly how it was meant to be, and I couldn’t be more proud of it.
I am terrified of who I am
But I’m not terrified when I’m with you
I am willing to lose my heart
If you are willing to guard it well
I will sing into the morning air
Let my voice carry to the sea
I will breathe you till my last day
And my heart fades away
I used to let fear stain my heart
Now you won’t let fear break in
A million moments yet to be
A million moments I can finally see
I will sing into the morning air
Let my voice carry to the sea
I no longer am afraid to live
I color the pages ahead of me
I will breathe you till my last day
And my heart fades away
And I never knew what love could be
I never knew
I will sing into the morning air
Let my voice carry to the sea
I will breathe you till my last day
And my heart fades away
I will love you until the dawn
When my heart flies away
Torn
I’m human, and like all other humans know, we’re not perfect.
I had a best friend who trusted me, was there for me, and who I let down time after time.
“Torn” initially was just something I was writing for myself, I never intended to put it out into the universe. But during the writing process it became so much more than just my apology to my best friend. It became an apology that so many people want to say, but never have the chance to or courage to.
“Torn” is an apology to anyone who has been hurt in any kind of way by someone they trusted dearly.
It breaks my heart to break your heart
But the time has come for us to part
I see the love deep in your eyes
It doesn’t quite reach where my soul lies
I promised you a life
Instead I gave you lies
I told you I was yours
But honestly I am torn
Falling has never been a fear
Until I traced your tear
This is my ode to the heart that I broke
Sticks and stones they can break my heart
It never heals don’t matter who you quote
I wanted your love and you wanted mine
It never lasts yeah I’m always that kind
It’s never the same once you get to the end
I’ll always feel like I’m missing my friend
This is my ode to the heart that I broke
Hollowed
I bet we all know that one person or have been the one that’s always afraid of letting someone in. We might pick and choose who our friends are very carefully, or we may self destruct on the ones we already have. Whatever this issue is, we all on some level are afraid.
“Hollowed” began as my way to speak to one specific person, but as we were recording it I realized it applied to another friend I had. So now it’s my letter to everyone, letting you all know it’s okay to be afraid, I’m afraid. But at some point, you have to let go of the fear, even just a little bit, or you might miss out on some amazing moments in life.
Your soul’s become damaged by the weight of the world
I’ve waited for no one but since I have found
That I’m a stronger person the fact that I’m still hurting
Means that you have touched my heart
You should never be afraid to let somebody love you
I would have loved you if you would unlock your heart
I see the fear beneath those deep blue eyes my dear
You’ve hollowed your heart afraid to love or feel
You’ve carried the weight of those scars on your heart for so long alone
You’re stronger than the hurt you face it’s not enough for you to act whole
The world’s full of disappointment bring you up to knock you down
Nothing is given but still I can see
You build these walls around you to shield you from your fear
It’s an endless cycle until you believe
We were made to love not meant to stand alone
Together you’re stronger the world will watch you soar
Seven
When one of my recent relationships ended, I had a hard time dealing with it. I had been let down in such a huge way I had never experienced before.
I usually don’t get so personal with my writing, or at least I’m not very straight forward about it. But everything lined up so perfectly. Seven days, seven o’clock, seven songs (this was the only one published). I decided to add seven on the album because it was the closing piece to this entire album.
Most of the songs were inspired by this person, and seven being the seventh track felt like a perfect resolution.
Seven days since you left me a mess all alone
Seven o’clock on that evening you said goodbye
Now I’m searching through pictures seventeen days ago
When you’d want me you would miss me
Where did the time go
Every night since I’ve been dying
Your name don’t appear on my phone
If you see a smile babe I’m lying
Been crying every night on this floor
Minutes they turn into hours
Hours go by too slow
You’re just a memory that won’t fade
My sweet escape
Seven times I’ve been reminded
You’ve moved on with your life
Seven months of feelings now wasted
My seventh song I dedicate to you
Reading old messages
Counting those lines
How could you just change your mind
These dreams just won’t fade
These thoughts won’t erase
Seven times seven maybe I’ll be over you
Now every time I catch your eye you hide them
They’re not longer my home
Behind this smile my heart is broken
What made you go